I’d also say that calling Red Dead Online an open-world game is a bit misleading, since there are very few activities worth doing in the game’s vast, but dull, wilderness. Sure, you can kick up your spurs and play poker with other users. But you can’t eat dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets next to the horse enclosure or go to a face-painting booth and pay $5 for them to make you look like a horse. In fact, in all my time exploring RDO’s world, I couldn’t even find an interesting placard that tells you that the scientific name for horses is Equus caballus.

What were they thinking?

That’s not to say that RDO is all bad. I loved getting to brush the horses and ride the horses online alongside the game’s many other outlaws and lawmen. But you can also do that at the zoo, too, if you just jump over the fence and run up to the horses before a security guard arrives and tackles you to the ground.

My final verdict? Red Dead Online definitely has its charms for diehard fans, but I would only settle for the game’s lackluster horses if the zoo has banned you for life. Even then, you can always change apartments and move near a new zoo with different guards that don’t know your face yet. If you’re deciding whether or not to venture into the lawless west, I’d recommend you skip this game and catch the bus to the zoo to look at the horses there instead.